Wearing emotions on my face, aka The Crazy Look

Some people wear their heart of their sleeve, I wear my emotions on my face. It's a horrible habit that I'm trying desperately to break. You would think that it's a good thing, because then people would always know exactly how I feel, but 62% of the time people should really be in the dark about what's going on in my head!

Prime example…I was at work sitting at my desk the other day and a very confused woman came and stood in front of my door, gazing into my office but not saying a word. I was thinking to myself "who the f*ck is this woman and why is she just standing there and not saying anything?" So of course, I had that exact expression on my face. My bestfriend and I affectionately call this "The Crazy Look." The Crazy Look consists of a furrowed brow, squinted eyes, and a look of bewilderment. In addition to the look of bewilderment, you must also add a number of other looks depending on whatever situation you're in. This includes but is not limited to the look of: "get the f*ck out of my face", "what the f*ck do you want", "why the f*ck are you wearing that", "why the f*ck did you just say", "something f*cking stinks", or the classic, "I'm about to go the f*ck off". Any of these emotions mixed with the look of bewilderment, furrowed brow, and squinted eyes constitutes The Crazy Look.

So this confused lady was standing at the door of my office looking in but not saying anything. I was giving her The Crazy (what the f*ck do you want) Look so she quickly realized that she needed to say something, and fast! She started to speak but she had such a heavy accent that I couldn't understand anything she was saying to me. My Crazy (what the f*ck do you want) Look immediately turned into The Crazy (get the f*ck out of my face) Look and she scurried off. I still have no idea who the woman was or what she wanted because The Crazy Look scared her off. The thing that makes this even more sad is that I never said a word. Even though she was talking for probably about 45 seconds (and asking me questions) I never said anything, I just gave her The Crazy Look.

I'm guilty of giving people The Crazy Look on an almost daily basis…riding on the tube, walking down the street, in hospital waiting rooms, it really doesn't matter where I am. If I see, hear or smell something completely ridiculous, The Crazy Look appears. When I was in Prague a few weeks ago, my friends and I were standing in a mirrored elevator with the funkiest of funky men. I couldn't bear to face him and personally give him The Crazy Look because he smelled too bad, so I turned in the opposite direction, faced the mirror and gave myself The Crazy Look because I couldn't believe how foul that man smelled. My friend Tatiana called me on it once we got out of the elevator and it was then that I realized that I need to stop with the crazy looks. But I just can't help it! It's honestly not something that I do on purpose, it's very subconscious. I usually don't even realize that I'm giving someone The Crazy Look until they give me The Crazy Look for giving them The Crazy Look. So then we're both just sitting there looking at each other all crazy until someone turns away. A vicious cycle. I'm working hard to stop it but it's a natural reaction that I can't seem to control. I believe that I have a modified version of Bell's Palsy; my face suddenly becomes paralyzed into a looks of judgement.