I hurt myself. A lot.

Last night I was boiling two eggs that were going to be a very yummy addition to my Greek salad for lunch today. I leaned over to turn off the burner and like a dummy, I reached my arm directly over the boiling eggs. Two seconds later I was burned by the steam and let out a very appropriate "owwwww!" It wasn't a childlike "ow", more like a whiney "ow" a la Anna Nicole Smith. Very unsexy.

My friend Adam said, "what happened?"
"Nothing", I said. "Just got burned by some steam."
"You're always hurting yourself. Like, every day."

He proceeded to mock me and make fun of all the different ways he's heard me say "ow"over the past few weeks. Unfortunately he's right. On any given day I am guaranteed to stub my toe, run into an open drawer, bump into a door, cut myself with a knife/scissors/spoon, or my most recent antic of burning my face with a strange chemical in an attempt to exfoliate. I'm a walking catastrophe, an accidental suicide just waiting to happen. As much as I say "owwww" you would think that I hate myself and I'm hell bent on seeing my destruction. But that's not the case, I'm just a big klutz! So if for some reason I'm found shot to death outside my house, it wasn't murder; I just happened to walk into the bullets.