Just asking

I've been flying quite a bit this year, and there are several things about flying that I really don't understand. I always (not by choice) fly economy and I get a little excited when it's time to get my free drink and snack. Since being in Europe I've grown accustomed to flying bootleg airlines like Easyjet and Ryan Air, so when I fly on a bonafide airline that actually gives you drinks and snacks without demanding money, it's a happy day! But why is it that when you ask for a Coke, they open a can and only give you half the coke, saving the rest of it for the next person that asks for Coke? Is it really going to cost them that much more money to give me the whole freakin' can? And why is it that the flight attendants cop an attitude when you ask for more Coke? If they would just give you the whole can in the first place, no one would ever ask for seconds (or thirds or fourths).

And why is that my seat and tray table must be in the upright position before take-off and landing? Will the plane be thrown off kilter if I'm leaning back and eating Cheddar Chex Mix off my tray? Will we crash into a grassy abyss because 25 of the 172 passengers were leaning back 3 inches further than the rest of the cabin? And why does the window cover need to be open before landing? If the pilot completely misses the runway and instead lands the plane on an alpaca farm, do I really need to see that? I'm not really a fan of flying, especially when my flight lasts for more than an hour so when I board a plane I like to lean back, close the window, and sleep until the plane lands with a thud that scares the hell out of me. No, I don't want to wait 10 minutes until we're at cruising altitude to go to sleep, and I don't want to have to wake up just as we're beginning our descent. I want to get every last minute of sleep possible because I paid good money to be relatively uncomfortable for several hours. Why do I have to get up!? If you happen to have a degree in aeronautics or you're one of those overly made-up flight attendants, please explain this to me. I'm just asking!

You know what I really don't understand? Why is it that during take-off and landing everyone must turn off their electronic equipment? If I have to turn off my camera, why doesn't the old ass man in front of me have to turn off his hearing aid? Both are electronic, so why is one acceptable and the other isn't? You won't get any reception on your phone when you're that high in the air and I'm guessing that you won't have access to the internet either, so what difference does it make? Will the plane crash and burn if little Tommy wants to play Tetris on his dad's blackberry? Newsflash: If an ipod, camera, cell phone, laptop, or vibrator has the capacity to actually bring down a plane, then it's time to build a better plane.