Chivalry is dead: A rather unusual threesome

Does it count as chivalry if the situation isn't a man wooing a woman, but rather a man, another man, and a rather confused and shameful woman?

I was on the train headed home from work the other night and due to my rushed state of trying to break out of the office, I forgot my "in case of emergency shoes", otherwise known as sneakers in the winter or flip-flops in the summer. So I was teetering around in heels all day and by 5pm I was really paying for it. When I got on the train I was happy to find one last empty seat. That rarely happens during rush hour, especially at Grand Central! I sat down triumphantly and prepared myself for my daily 20 minute train nap. Just before I dozed off, a semi-old man got on the train. By semi-old, I mean he was older than middle-aged but not quite "one foot in the grave" elderly. He stopped in front of me and stared down the entire row of seated people. It was his way of saying, "Hey, I'm old. Give me your seat!" Of course no one gave a damn. And although I did give a damn and wanted to give him my seat, my feet certainly did give a damn and they weren't having it! I turned my head and pretended that I wasn't aware of his stare down.

The train started to move and he wasn't holding on to any of the poles. I firmly believe he did this on purpose to show us rude little people that his old ass could fall at any minute and it would totally be our fault for being so incredibly selfish. Instead of falling, he stumbled around and eventually grabbed a pole. He kept peeping over his shoulder looking at us, just waiting for someone to give in. No one was budging. A few minutes later however, a man sitting next to me stood up.

"Yes! Someone is giving the old man a seat! Thank you!!" I said to myself.

The old man turned and started to walk towards the seat, but the man who stood up simply took off his coat, announced to the train, "It's hot!" and then sat back down. I was shocked and confused!

The poor old man turned around and grabbed his pole again. He gave me a look but I couldn't bear to look him in the face. I just stared down at my shoes, hoping that he would look at my shoes too and understand that while he may have arthritis and a bad back, I had aching arches and the balls of my feet were on fire. Standing stationary in heels for long periods of time is a pain that few men can understand. And besides, it was a long, long ride to Brooklyn!

So as the man next to me fanned himself, I kept staring down at my feet and the old man continued to hold his pole. There was a very bizarre tension in the air as the three of us would throw each other dirty looks, but unsuccessfully try to do it discreetly. I was mad at the man sitting next to me, the old man was mad at me, and the man sitting next to me was probably oblivious to what was going on, but gave us both dirty looks anyway. Although there were a lot of other people on the train, the three of us were locked in this ridiculous scene of staring and looking away. Not quite the ménage a trois one would want to be involved in.

Even though I didn't give up my seat either, the real culprit was the sweaty man sitting next to me. He was in his twenties and wearing sneakers. He had absolutely no excuse!