Case of the Mondays

I hate Mondays. And it is my belief that the vast majority of the world hates Mondays too, yet everyone is so faux chipper and happy on Mondays. Have you ever noticed that within 10 minutes of arriving at work at least 3 people will have said, “Hi (insert your name)! How was your weekend?” Why is it that people ALWAYS want to know about your weekend, but no one asks about Wednesday? When you come into work on Thursday no one ever says “Hi! How was your Wednesday?” Yet everyone is sooooo interested in your weekend. And when they ask this age old, cliché, slightly rhetorical question, we usually respond with the same old, cliché, slightly rehearsed answers.

“Good!”

“Oh you know, just kinda took it easy.”

“It was great! The weather was byooteeful!”

Personally, I’m tired of people at work asking about my weekend. It’s not because I’m an anti-social or mean person, it’s because I don’t feel it’s genuine. And if it’s not genuine, then why do it? You know deep down that they could really care less about how you spend your free time, but they are programmed to ask and like little robots we are programmed to answer. This got me to thinking; maybe I should conduct an experiment. Let us all pretend we are Debbie Downer’s, Negative Nancy’s and Bitch-ass Bettina’s…the next time someone asks “How was your weekend?” tell them how it really was!

John from accounting: Hi Debbie! How was your weekend?
Debbie Downer: It sucked. I ate spinach and apparently all the spinach in all the world is contaminated. It gave me the runs all weekend and by Sunday I had cotton mouth. How was yours?

Dante, the guy in the cube next to you: Hi Nancy. How was your weekend?
Negative Nancy: Not too good. My cable got cut off because this job doesn’t pay enough money to make ends meet. I didn’t have money to go out either so I just sat on the couch eating Ramen until I got sleepy. What did you do?

Mike from across the hall: Hey B! How was your weekend?
Bitch-ass Bettina: Muthaf*cka please! You know you don’t give a damn about how my weekend was! I don’t have time for this. I got kids to feed.

I’ve been at my job for exactly 1 month today so it’s way too soon for me to conduct this experiment myself, but if you have the balls to tell your boss you didn’t leave the house all weekend because your girlfriend whooped your ass, go ahead and do it! Start a new trend. Be somebody!!