I know everyone tries sooooo hard to make themselves stand-out, but I think these same people fail to realize that their profiles have the potential to be seen by millions of people. Or perhaps they just don't care. Case in point...
The Light-skinned Sensation
Ok, please tell me what is so sensational about someone who poses in their bathroom and takes pictures of themselves with their camera phone? Please, I need to know! If you don't have at least one picture of yourself that someone else has taken, then you really have no business putting pictures up in the first place.
Pregnant and still sexy
I'm not even sure where to begin with this one. This absolutely screams ghetto fab and trailer trash. The words "pregnant" and "sexy" should never, ever be used in the same sentence. There's something about it that's just ungodly. Secondly, must THE WORLD see your sonogram? I've always been really annoyed by expecting mothers who feel the need to show everyone on the planet their sonogram. I understand that when mothers see it, they are incredibly moved by seeing their little baby growing inside them, but when everyone else sees it, they're just trying to figure out exactly what the hell they are looking at. Can't they just wait until they actually give birth and then bombard everyone with pictures of the baby wearing the little hat and blanket in the hospital? Because everyone knows, as soon as the kid comes out, we will be forced to see pictures of Little Mikey from the time of his first birthday until he finally gets married--and everything else in between. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-baby, I'm anti-annoying mother. So for all you expecting mothers out there, please spare everyone and keep your sonograms off myspace.
Aside from the pictures, there are some other really ridiculous things about myspace. First off--the friend requests. Being the introverted person that I am, I only want to receive friend requests from friends. That is what it's for after all. I don't want to check out your band, I don't want to see the tshirts you designed for Omarion and Kevin Federline, I don't want to hear your latest single, and I most certainly do not want to buy your organic handmade jewelry. Aside from being a haven for pedophiles and freaks, myspace is full of broke, negative net worth people trying to peddle their wares and get free publicity for their "record labels." While I think all of this is a very good idea, I don't want any parts of it. What I also don't want any parts of, are the elaborate, over-designed pages that take two years to load. Have you seen those pages that have crazy backgrounds, music, commercials, movies, and dancing bears all competing for space on a tiny little page? Between the stars falling from the top of the page, Kanye's latest single, and the clip from Scarface playing in your comments box, I have no idea what to look at first. KEEP IT SIMPLE PEOPLE! You're creative and full of life, I get it. But when I'm sitting at my desk at work, I'm not quick enough to click three different pause buttons to stop all of the different multi-media that's spewing from your page.
So the lesson of the day is...less is more. Keep in mind that if you post ridiculous pictures, you will be mocked; don't harass innocent people by asking them to listen to your music or buy your original artwork, and most importantly if your page takes 3 minutes to download no one will actually look at it because they're annoyed. Now if you'll excuse me, someone has just added a new comment to my page and I need to check it.
No comments:
Post a Comment